Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
