My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
