The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize