I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
look no pants
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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