Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
