I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
