i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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