I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
This house was built for laser tag.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
