She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
