i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
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