How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
