Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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