I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize