You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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