I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
worst night to have a conscience
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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