Please, let me fuck your mom
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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