Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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