went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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