i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
