the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
