Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize