Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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