why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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