How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
