Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
