Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
