I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize