About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
