Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
