having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize