I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize