party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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