Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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