i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
