i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
