my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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