so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
