Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
