I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I wish you could order shots online.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
