What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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