I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
