My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
