I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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