I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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