He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
