she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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