We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My bed smells like the plague
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