they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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