I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
