He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
