so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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