youre lurking in front of me
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
