She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
