That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
