How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
