Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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