Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
