I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
