If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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