I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
BRING THE BAGELS
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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