Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
