O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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